The past few days I've been sleeping later than usual but it's not because I've been burning the midnight oil nor caught up with work. I.. Let my mind wander to the things that I shouldn't be thinking or bothering about. I've pushed it away, I mean.. I tried but it'll come back. Honestly, my feelings for D had never really left. It's just.. Weird? I really really don't know why I've got such scary hopes on him and to be with him still. It's like so passe. Haha.
I knowww that things will never work out due to race, religion and commitment level. But at the same time, I can't stand the fact that we never really gave us a chance. Then again, if we ever did, it might never work out? Yeah a whole stack of negativity in there.
As much as this may seem bad of me, my care and concern for the ex has dimished off earth the minute I found out I was being played out. Sure it may be unfair to look at one "wrong" move he made. But that broke my heart like crazy (very I must say) that I'm numb and couldn't care less anymore. Besides, the man got a ring around his finger. With that, I've totally rest my case.
Anyway, do note that D is not my ex-boyfriend. He's just someone really-extremely-very dear to me but now, we're nothing more than friends and no less of a stranger. I don't want to be think, hope, pray nor wish that I still stand a chance.
Sometimes, I wished I was strong enough to let go of everything that belongs to him or was once ours.
Till then I'll continue to building up this facade and let me remind you, it's been 8 years.
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