Period rants.

I hate it when the the time of the month hits me, monthly. -_-

Besides the fact that my lower back feels like as if it's gonna break any time and the never ending excruciating pain in my tummy, I tend to over think, a lot, at night. Two night ago, I deleted my Instagram off my hand phone because I wanted to"get away" from all things social media. But what the hell right? The first thing that came to mind was, "What a childish move!" but hey, at least it didn't disturb anyone else right?

Anyway, I'm so tempted to hit a women's clinic to do a more thorough check-up but hey, the stuff I've been reading online scares the shit out of me. No way I'm I ever gotta cut a small hole near my belly button to look for stuff. I wished I'm married and attempting for a baby now. Call me crazy but hey, the last thing I ever wanna know is that I'm unable to bear a child. Torturous pain since I was 15, 10 years later to know that I can't conceive? I'll kill myself. No kidding. Been postponing my dream of having a child since I was 21 years old!!! Nope, this is not a joke or some kinda weird ambition. I've always wanted to be a young mom. FYI please.

Ps: Please don't tell me to go and get married ASAP because we both are not financially ready (we would be if we sacrifice our major holiday plans and erm.. My materialistic buys. Yes yes cutting down by a whole lot!) and I doubt we will ever get to do a nikah in that mosque followed by sit down reception for the very close ones. So yeappp don't suggest that please, my heart will ache. Hahahaha.

Singapore to Mount Bromo x Surabaya mini trip! (Part 1)

Long overdue and I've received manyyyy inquiries about this trip I made and I thought I'd help any of your guys along the line of preparing for such. Hope it helps some of you out there! xx

We had a tour guide who picked us up from the airport and then a 3 to 4 hours drive to Java Banana. If I'm not mistaken, it is the most expensive accommodation in Bromo and guess what? I'm not complaining! The place was perfectttt but than you'll be extremely clueless as to what you can do there except to read, eat, drink or chill. Basically, it's a beautiful place for dinner > one night stay > breakfast! With zero heater in the room, I dare say it was freezing at night and my first time in such a cold place.. I think I won't be able to enjoy winter.

 Budi, our tour guide x driver fetched us again at 3am and oh god let me tell youuuu, the drive up to the mountain was BEAUTIFUL. It was pitch dark and when you look out of your 4 by 4.. It was freaking twinkle twinkle little stars. Like those star galaxy that you have as your screensaver, wallpaper, whatever. It's one of those moments that I will remember for life.

Waiting at the peak with tons of others was pretty weird? I mean... They were mainly locals and yet they do this every single morning? Maybe they are super used to the weather and thus they didn't mind. I don't know. Because at that point of time, I just hated the cold oh-so-much. Hahaha. But the again, nobody gives a pass to natural beauty like that.

"Everything you could imagine, was right before your eyes."

x

Trying to keep fit.

A few weeks back or more, we were supposed to trek for the Tree Top Walk but we ended up at Bukit Timah Nature Reserve before we had an okay time eating at Al-Azhar for their Sambal Stingray, Tom Yum Soup and yeah.. You know the drill. Hearty food, what's not to love?! Hehehe. Anyway, we went for our first run together (after 10months official?) at West Coast Park yesterday and I almost died trying to catch up with someone who runs weekly and sometimes more. In which later we had Mcds! HAHAHA. Ps: I love the Spicy Chicken McWrap and cup corn! The only thing we both wanna do is to keep moving and ensure that we don't grow a little too much flesh on our body and yes we are aware that we aren't exactly the kind that would gain weight tremendously but hey, better be safe than sorry? :P

Quarter life crisis?

I am at this particular cross road of my life and I simply want to just drop everything. I don't have the mood or rather, motivation to work anymore and I wanna quit uni. Another 2 years of studying seems like a longgggg way to go and I know that many have been ensuring me that it'll all be worth it in the end. Cmon I already know that but I literally am doing all this against my own "will". If that even makes sense because deep down I know I wanna own and complete a degree. Some may say that a paper certificate will not dictate how you'll live your life but to me, that might just be a basis to what I can build upon. If you get what I mean, good and thank you.

As for work wise, I feel like my partner is not doing as much as I can or would do. I know age is catching up on her but to have the same the job position, I sometimes feel like life is hell unfair. I feel like my income should be higher. Or maybe I'm not thankful enough for what god has somehow or another, given me. I don't know. I just don't feel like working or doing repetitive events yearly. Though I've only been here for 3+ years. And not that the events are boring or what la coz every single year there'll be tweaks and additions to "spice things up" a little. A definite plus point is that most of my colleagues are such nice people and there are so many benefits being in this company.

Haiz I'm in such a freaking dilemma right now and that if I get 3 calls for a chance to "move on", I'll so my solat istiharah and then we'll see how things goes.. Till then, xx.

Will the ground just swallow me up already?

I've neglected this space for way too long, close to 2 months.. But who am I kidding? It has always been the case and I lack of discipline in penning down my thoughts along with many other things which includes, eating my supplements on daily, regular revision (oh god another warning email from Dr Luke), procrastinating in doing twice a week jogs and the list goes on...

These days, I've been thinking of way too many things and I wonder if I'm born to be an over-achiever or perfectionist though I know there's no such thing as a perfectionist after reading this article.Mehh. I just wished I could take a step back on sooooo many things but that means I will "lose out". Only god knows if I'm making sense right now but yeah that's how I feel at this very minute.

My love life has been nothing but great, awesome, ze best I've ever had but I seem to worry for things have being going on way too well. Sure it's a blessing to be on the same terms at every level and I share with him almost everything except for those days where I'm too bloody tired and occupied. But there's always the 'but'. Hahaha maybe I'm just crazy, I don't know. I just thank god after every subuh, marghrib and ishak, yes I've yet to do zohor and asar at work. Tryingg to work on it but... 

I love my mom and dad so much and sometimes I feel like I've neglected them by a bit. I'm the kind of person who loves spending time at home and sadly or not, lately, I've been having frequent dinners outside and the feeling sucks? So I try to "compensate" by packing food from home to have for lunch the next day. At the same time, I know I need to go out and meet my girlfriends and partner too. Which by the way, is a good beautiful handful. Striking a balance in life has never been a difficult task but why is it so now? If only I can split myself up. Or maybe I just need a breather. Or keep to my schedule and follow it closely like a freaking robot. -_-

Let's not begin on how torturous work was for the past 2 months and right when we thought we can take 5, another bomb drops on us. Oh wells, I've been thinking of other options as who doesn't want a higher income right? And especially when more responsibilities will be upon myself in a few years time... Never mind that, we'll let time decide as I'm in no rush for a career switch.

Ps: 1) My Istanbul trip's cancelled again. Yeap this is the second time and I think I've pretty much redha and maybe do it after marriage or "defy" my Dad's or Zaki's words. Yes yes I know, Zaki's only my boyfriend but I don't want unnecessary worries from him. Bleah. 2) I was so close to purchasing the items in my lust list but if I do then I'll be "sad" for wasting $$$$ on materials and not on a trip.

Lust of the month.

Even though my current purse, bag and shoes are red.. 

I thought why not try a different colour this time round and go ahead with Metallic Grey? Looks quite neat ain't it? Pretty sure it goes well with my work outfits and for Fridays with jeans too! Haiz decisionsssssssss and I'm only allowed to get the ballerina or the purse.... To at least "commemorate" my recent promotion. I've worked hard so should at least put those $$$ to good use right? :P

Been wanting either one of the nightingale but if I were to damn right make the purchase, that means my flight ticket and Air BnB to Istanbul will be out of the window. Even had this thought that perhaps I should get it with 2015 bonus? But.... Hahahhahahahaha tak kahwin jugak aku nanti.

Renny x Syahrul @ Gurame Indonesian Restaurant Changi.

I've always been passionate about events, be it for work or personal matters and when I got the surprise box to be Renny's bridesmaid, I was more than glad to help and be a part of her big day. Before we all know it, that meaningful date (3/01/2015) for Renn and Syahrul came! Pre-event "party" was at Park Avenue Changi and that is where we all began dolling up by two other MUA, Kak Yumi and Kak Fad. I had Kak Yumi to do my hair and make-up! As much as I love it, it was a lil thick for my liking but I supposed that was how things were + we gotta standout a little right? And since it looks so good in photos albeit flash photography, made my face looked fairer than my neck. Boohoo but nehmind, in normal lighting, it was fine! Click here: x and x and herrrre!

 Both solemnization and wedding reception was held at this lovely place, Gurame Indonesian Restaurant at Changi which over looks the sea and has got a garden theme feel to it! It rained for a while when we were getting ready but lucky us, the weather starts to change and it was breezy the whole late afternoon to night time! Alhamdullilah to the fact that Syahrul got to lafaskan that whole sentence thingy on one breathe and brought a hugeeee smile to Kak Renny kita. Hehehe.

Of course, the bridesmaids and another with my Crystal Sisters and out partners! Ps: I weren't too pleased when I saw this photo where Zaki didn't stand close to me! *go ahead and roll your eyes* Basically, I hate to see gaps in group photos la.. Or perhaps it was my OCD acting up orrrrr I just wanted him to stand closer to meh! HAHAHA.

Look at how gorgeous this Renny is laaaaaaa. Hello? Merepek punya lawa can? And nope I'm not being biased or anything like that but she seriously was exceptionally lawa nak mampos. I think I said "Renny kau lawa nye" like more than 10 times? Sorry babe hahahahaha!

 Last but not least, the friendship we all forged, will definitely be remembered for a very long time. How Sheril fetch me from home and after, one whom I felt closest to, speaking like a bullet train and entertaining each other's nonsense, how Shikin was so quiet but was so nice, sweet and helpful all the time, how malam berinai with Haya and Dee was funny coz one lost her voice and the other was actually busy with her own wedding cards hahaha + them influencing me on Running Man, how Izza rants and her whole bimbotic-ness comes to life hahahahaha! and how accommodating and gentleman the maid of honour, Helmi was! Pretty cool to have clicked very well with everyone! Till my next bridesmaid duty. xx

I'm in love and always will be.

Yesterday was our first virgin trip to JB and no words could explain how happy I was throughout the rare weekend date (10hours ++). In fact, I'm so happy being with Zaki that I wanna be with him 24/7 hahahaha. Surely it may be a bit much for some to hear those words but hell, I'm in cloud nine, with or without him. At times it feels like he lives in my heart and my mind.... :P

Whenever I see this phrase "Someday, someone will walk into your life and make you realize why it never worked out with someone else.", I cannot explain in further details for I agree 100% to it. I'm neither engaged nor married to him, yet, but this overwhelming feeling I have.. Can be quite unbelievable. We are similar in so many things and that's a major thumbs up because I'm so thankful to have found a lover in whom I call my best friend. He's been amazing and all the time spent together have been great thus far. 6 months down and I look forward to forever. ♥