I, sometimes.

I'm starting to feel the pinch whenever I shop and I hate that the most because I'm still young. Young enough to not bother about paying for a flat, paying for a baby and what nots. 

 

I hate how I'm actually paying for both my diploma (I really thought they'll deduct from my CPF and transfer back to Dad but no, we gotta pay via ibanking every month w/o fail till our due is paid) and degree monthly. I'm not even earning that much fyi. How I managed to survive with my pay is sometimes one hell of a big question mark for me.

I don't take any allowance from my parents since I've started work proper. In fact, I've given them more than I ever did. And throughout my secondary and polytechnic days, Dad only paid for my standard concession and I get $80 per month for food. Anything with regards to clothes that I purchase, movies that I sometimes watch and dinners that I have outside came from my own pocket. Ps; I paid my own handphone bills since I was 15.

Sometimes it pains me when my sisters don't even have to do any of those. They all got their own phone without having to work. Their handphone bills are all paid for. They borrow most of my clothes, bags, shoes. Anything that fits, they'll borrow. No, I'm not being "buruk siku", I'm merely stating what and how I feel.

Sometimes I hate my brothers for not ever being there. I hate being the eldest daughter. Why I can't be the third one in the family? Why can't I be the youngest one in the family?

Sometimes I wonder if this is always the elder's sister's plight.