One truth for the night. One who wear her heart on her sleeve. One love for goodnight.

 

Allow me to apologize in advance if what I'm about to share seems too cheesy and "haven't you learn you lesson".

The past few days I've been sleeping later than usual but it's not because I've been burning the midnight oil nor caught up with work. I.. Let my mind wander to the things that I shouldn't be thinking or bothering about. I've pushed it away, I mean.. I tried but it'll come back. Honestly, my feelings for D had never really left. It's just.. Weird? I really really don't know why I've got such scary hopes on him and to be with him still. It's like so passe. Haha.

I knowww that things will never work out due to race, religion and commitment level. But at the same time, I can't stand the fact that we never really gave us a chance. Then again, if we ever did, it might never work out? Yeah a whole stack of negativity in there.

As much as this may seem bad of me, my care and concern for the ex has dimished off earth the minute I found out I was being played out. Sure it may be unfair to look at one "wrong" move he made. But that broke my heart like crazy (very I must say) that I'm numb and couldn't care less anymore. Besides, the man got a ring around his finger. With that, I've totally rest my case.

Anyway, do note that D is not my ex-boyfriend. He's just someone really-extremely-very dear to me but now, we're nothing more than friends and no less of a stranger. I don't want to be think, hope, pray nor wish that I still stand a chance.

Sometimes, I wished I was strong enough to let go of everything that belongs to him or was once ours.

Till then I'll continue to building up this facade and let me remind you, it's been 8 years. 

Y U SO BEAUTIFUL?

Yeah I've most probably lost my mind.

Via syazrella.

It is an interesting law of romance that a truly strong woman will choose a strong man who disagrees with her over a weak one who goes along. Strength demands intelligence, intelligence demands stimulation, and weakness is boring. It is better to find a partner you can contend with for a lifetime than one who accomodates you because he doesn't really care. Sixty seconds of wondering if someone is about to kiss you is more entertaining than 60 minutes of kissing. Spill the beans, and the conversation is history. Speak in code, with wit and challenge, and the process of decryption is like foreplay.

-Roger Ebert.

Midweek.

I don't know if you should know this but I'm getting pretty good at brushing those feelings aside. I try my best to keep myself busy and.. It's been good so far. All I gotta do is just get myself drained between 8am to perhaps 10pm(?) and I can sleep peacefully at night. No problem, nothing. Haha.

Truth is, I'm just scared.

Body target me.

I've mentioned earlier that I've been with OCR for a year plus. The 10th of April was the date if you'd like to know and the point of this entry is to let you guys know that I've gained 6 kg. Hahahah yes, welcome to Shiqin's Believe It Or Not. I was 37kg then and my latest visit to the hospital, I weighed 43.7kg. I wasn't exactly shocked? Kinda expected it since my tummy flab didn't go away after a few weeks. It surely does (don't ask how, it just dissapeared).

Nobody is to blame but myself. I do know that as we age, our metabolism rate tend to take a dip and that means, I can't really eat whatever and anything that I want. If I do continue, the only shape I'm gonna be in is round. R O U N D. And nope I'm not gonna allow that to happen and thus, I went ahead at enrolled myself in absbunthighs lesson and have been trying to go for short runs (whatever cardio I can) after work or during the weekends. I'm slowly trying to incorporate some strentgh training too. Been reading that that's one of the ways I can reduce fats and then be able to tone up. Not forgetting that I might have to eat clean. -_-  God know how I'm gonna do that but I'll make an effort and start small. Perhaps lessen on the sugar drinks and more lemon water, less rice and more veggies and fruits to keep myself full. This can all be NATO (no actions talk only) but I must try to follow suit minimum thrice weekly. I love my meat and rice so so much this are gonna be extremely tough for me. :( I know many will "complain" saying that I'm slim enough bla bla. But wait till you see my tummy.. You might have to take back your words.

I'm giving myself a month and a half to finish my absbunthighs classes before I make the jump to join Yoga Movement. Ps: I actually wanted to give Pilates a try but then, YM seems to be pretty reasonable. In terms of price, flexible class schedule and the fact that it's a few stops away from my workplace, it's a plus point.

Oh wells.. We'll see how things are in 3 months time.

Instagram has been my #1 motivator. 

I've been following @fightforfit / @theultimatefitspo / @healthybarbie / @tonedtannedandfitness and I'm not regretting following them at all. It gives me hope that I'll be able to achive such body if I keep my spirits up and not give up. There are many girls that are really plump and yet managed to lose the weight, are fitter and toned than ever. So I believe I, whom people claim to be slim, should be able to step up the game. 

Are you in or are you out?

Look see look see then just buy lor.

Hahaha what a title to begin with.

Since I'm free, I thought why not I share a few of my latest purchase?

Okay I do admit my choices now falls on the safe side. I try my best to dress appropriately for work and thus, whenever I shop, I'll ask myself if whatever I'm wearing is alright. Honestly, I feel insecure when my hemline are a palm up from my knees. I used to be a-okay with it but not when my close colleagues are mostly of the opposide gender. 

But I do jazz up a few inches when I'm not at work aka with my girlfriends la. Heheh. 

There are another 3 more dresses and a few tops that I got but I thought I'll leave the rest as a "surprise". Don't want to show it all here and then when I "publicize" wearing them, it'll look bleah-boring. Maybe not to you but I, don't particularly like repeating my outfits and have it posted up. Unless it's my ultimate favourite piece. ♡♡♡

Female woes.

Yes I'm finally back and it wasn't because I was busy the past weeks. I was just plain lazy but now, I'm on a roll hahaha.

So I've finally decided to get myself referred to the hospital because I simply can't be bothered with the torturous pain I have to go through every single month without fail. Yes, it's none other than my stupid period cramps. Most girls are able to endure but no matter how much I try to 1) eat EPO everyday. 2) exercise regularly. 3) drink lotsa warm water. None helps, I repeat NONE.

I researched and fyi, google is my bestfriend and I came to know about alot of things with regards to the trouble I've had.

Therefore early this month,

I was then scheduled for a Gynae check up on the 3rd of May and I was told to drink 3-4 glasses of water before the scan takes place. I supposed only when the bladder is full then they can see if there's anything in my womb? I don't know. Perhaps.

It would be a relief if there's really nothing growing (eg: fibroids). I might have to rely on painkillers till I get pregnant or give birth. A few friends came forward to share with me that most doctors said that the pain will go away once one goes through labour. Oh god, that is another thing that I'm bloody scared about but hey, atleast I have a few more years to mentally prep myself right? Haha.

Anyway all these marriage thingy and have a baby loves (hahaha) will probably happen in 3-4 years (I hope!) and.. I know what I'm about to say is irrelevant but I want atleast 3 kids. No kidding. Yeah god knows if I'm strong for that. :P 

Evening with Lumiere Photography (part 1).

I've decided to split this entry because the next post would be filled with quality photos and I CAN'T WAIT TO RECEIVE ALL OF THEM. Yes, both the hard and soft copy! I should prolly check my mailbox early next week because we are expecting it to be delivered within 7 days and the photo shoot took last Sunday. Our photographer was Jason and as much as I'd say he had done a good job, we've yet to see the actual results. He did let us took a sneak peek towards the end of the shoot and in between because we didn't wanna look like idiots hahaha. At the very least, we knew how things were going. Anyway, he was extremely patient and kind. Zero trouble working with him throughout the 90 mins!

I love taking photos in the lift and FYI, I live on the third floor HAHAHA. So yupp I basically have less than a minute before the lift door opens and that can only mean that my camwhore skills have improved tremendously! Another HAHAHA.

We headed straight to KGC for dinner and thank god the food was all good. The Nasi Goreng Daging Paprik that Syaff got was flavourful, the Roti John Beef w Cheese was simply shiok. I had the boring Mee Maggie Goreng Seafood (since I've been craving for maggie noodles) and Faezah got the Mee Soto which is one of the best I've tasted la. Or maybe because it's spicy therefore it automatically falls under my fav list. :P

Only disappointment was that the food all came like 40 minutes later?! -_-

Just being vain and I think this photo would have been perfect without my Mas Terry at the back. Hahaha. If you've followed me closely *ahem* you'd know what I mean. ^^

OKAY THAT'S ALL AND HAVE A GOOD WEEKEND LOVELIES!