Friday night fever.

Cos it takes something more this time than sweet sweet lies. 

Before I open up my arms and fall, losing all control.

I'm not gonna lie but I was dissapointed when I went for the Reebonz Shoegar Rush yesternight. Was really hoping that I could bag home a decent Ferragamo ballerina flats that I was aiming but it wasn't on the rack (unfortunately). Not only that, the number of shoes on sale were a dissapointment too. There was indeed more bags than there were for the shoes fyi. Haizz I guess I just gotta wait for the Club 21 or Pedder Red Sale and try my luck there instead. As much as I desperately need a pair of decent flats for work, I think it's best that I be patient and.. Yeah wait.

Nonetheless, I couldn't thank for the good company (Zie, Jay and An) I had that sacrificed their time/effort/energy to accompany me though I left the place empty handed. :( Oh wells, better luck next time? *fingers crossed*

Final weekend.

The only way to rise from the fall is to further surround myself with people who makes me happy and those that truly care for me. I also have to keep reminding myself that life still goes on. Shit happens and what you gotta do is to just flush it down and begin a new.  I've also learnt that nothing really does stays forever and I vow that from now on, I'll take things with a pinch of salt. Or at least till someone can assure me (may I add, assure me gila babi) that we are on the same path and could actually see us being together for the rest of our life. Sure, that may sound a lil too much for some, in fact I cringe at the thought of starting all over again (because honestly, I'm having major trust issues with the opposite gender nowadays) but there's no way I can go back to how and what things were. Therefore, to 'move forward' is ze mantra from now on.

I've a feeling that those girls up there in the group photo (kindly click to enlarge please. I've nicely made it into a collage for your viewing pleasure hahaha.) are gonna be my party khakis from now on. I mean, we were all from RP (myself, Tiqah, Fa, Rchl, Germaine), Dhiya's are the girls' ex colleague and Zaimah's my closest gfs. So yeap, there you have them all! Haha. Extremely laid back, fun like hell and we truly keep a look out for each other! Gotta love going out with girls that have a mind of their own and not those that always say, "anything la I anything". Because ps: I can't stand those type of people. They make me feel like smacking their head so that they'll come out with some sort of a decision. Hahaha.

I knew I had to be outside on that particular Saturday night because for all you know, I might be attempting to kill myself (wished I can go in detail but I shall keep it highly privatized) HAHA. So glad I have Syafff to accompany me. We met and I became her personal shopper for the day. Picked out an all black and gold outfit for her conference meeting in KL and hellll yeah she looks good! She even put on the red lipstick I recommended! Hehehe so proud of this girl here la.

We were a tad too early. Reservation was at 8.30? But we arrived an hour earlier + we were later reminded that Goodfellas only starts playing at 10.30 hahaha. Yeap you probably guessed it correctly, we stayed and didn't budged an inch till 11.30. Thank god there was lotsa food and drink (of course never ending snapping of photos). Before I forget, many many thanks to the head chef at Timbre Substation! ;)

Just so you know, I enjoy being around with people who appreciates good music and also, comfortable silence. xx

Lust At First Sight.

I’ve learned that even in platonic relationships, it takes time, ups and downs and different situations to build a foundation and to understand the other person. Since I have a rather extremist personality, I have made the mistake of jumping to a conclusion way to early only to be disappointed in the end when you realize that the person wasn’t as great as you first imagined them to be.

We’ve all heard the adage, “easy come, easy go” and while it may sound cliché, I believe it to be true. The relationships that take time, investment and eventually have a history are a lot harder to break and come tumbling down when the going gets tough.  But the ones that are built on a whirlwind romance, they can come crashing down a lot easier since there was no foundation to begin with.

Opening Up My Heart Again.

I don’t think I’ve ever been really good at dating. I am very careful with who I let into my heart and in the beginning a man usually has to have a lot patience and resilience to overcome the big, massive walls I’ve put up as my fortress of safety. But every once in a while, someone gets through, and when he does, I open up my world to him.

If you’ve been following my blogs, you will know that I was in a pretty bad breakup last year. One that left me hurt, betrayed and extremely afraid to open up my heart again to anyone. Getting hurt or disappointed in the quest for love just wasn’t a risk I was ready to take.

Recently, I met someone and taking that risk to open up my heart again was something I was starting to warm up to. He was an honest, high-integrity, considerate and beautiful person. He treated me with respect, was emotionally mature and his actions matched his good intentions. But the timing in our lives didn’t align. And if there is one lesson I’ve learned from my past, is that you can meet the right person at the wrong time, and it won’t work.

Usually, when a relationship doesn’t work out to the vision I hoped it would, I would feel disappointed and depleted. I would typically look back with regret thinking that I wasted my energy. But what’s different, is this time, I’m very grateful and happy for the experience. I can look back and say I’m glad I opened up my heart, and even though it didn’t play out in the way I had thought it might, I feel healthy, grounded and grateful to have shared moments with someone who treated my heart with care and respect.

I believe that the people come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. Sometimes that reason comes in the form of a harsh, uncomfortable lesson. And sometimes, that reason comes in the form of a light, positive memory to remind you that there is good and hope out there. I’m pretty thankful that this time, the lessons learned came in the latter form. I used to think that endings were a bad thing. But I’m starting to realize, sometimes endings are just new beginnings in disguise.

Credits: (x)

But he who dares not grasp the thorn, should never crave the rose.

“You're beautiful, but you're empty...One couldn't die for you. Of course, an ordinary passerby would think my rose looked just like you. But my rose, all on her own, is more important than all of you together, since she's the one I've watered. Since she's the one I put under glass, since she's the one I sheltered behind the screen. Since she's the one for whom I killed the caterpillars (except the two or three butterflies). Since she's the one I listened to when she complained, or when she boasted, or even sometimes when she said nothing at all. Since she's my rose.”

― Antoine de Saint-Exupéry, The Little Prince

My prayers been answered.

This is it. This is the end.

I wanted forever but you gave me flowers.

I don't wish to contradict myself with the above statement but.. If you can understand, good.
You may say that I'm greedy but what I truly want is something that can be permanent in life. 

 How could I even think that it's your arms that I'll fall into every day and every night of my being on earth? If nothing was ever real for you, I pray hard to god to create a distance so far between us that I feel pain no more.

P L E A S E

Please make me understand why you still had to lie to me when the truth was clearly in your hands.

One day I will.

 I swear I will.

#zies23birthday at La Marelle Café & Boutique.

The one that I can be absolutely retarded with, the one that accepts my flaws, the one that practically knows me inside out. Things may have changed over the years but our friendship never did. Cheers to a decade of celebrating each others birthday and hell yeah there are many more nonsense to come! Till now, I can't believed I've known Zie for 10 years. I always wonder how things are gonna be like in the next 10. 

Scary much? No? Hahaha.

 Decision to dine in at La Marelle was a pretty good one. I honestly find the food just nice.. It didn't leave me with a WOW effect (I still wished they had the Duck Pizza! Would come back for that for sure. However so, it wasn't all that bad la. Portion's good for the ladies, friendly staffs and the atmosphere was just perfect. The Passionfruit Sunrise (the one in the pot) was refreshing and so was the soda that Zaimah had. As for the coffee, I had the Green Tea Cappuccino and it was quite a disappointment to me. I barely tasted any caffeine. :( It was like hot grean tea with an overdose of milk but I gotta give some credit that the drink had a very smooth texture to it!

As for the desserts, I'm all out for the Smores (extremely sinful) and all I can say is that perhaps you can give the macaroons a pass. But if you must, get the Vanilla. It didn't meet my expectations because I compared it to Laduree's. I know, it's unfair but ...
 All that aside, the cafe is definitely worth a visit!

Unhealthy hahaha.

Friends With Benefit.

This type of relationship can get real sticky, real quick, and not in a good way. Friends with benefits is a similar scenario to the booty call, except that this is someone you know through mutual friends or have known for years, so there’s already some sort of connection and feelings involved, even if it was previously just “as friends.” You actually like this person for who they are, but for whatever reason, having a relationship just isn’t in the cards.

You have to be careful because you don’t want to hurt this person and things could get awkward if it ends, as you still hang in the same social circle. If it’s a childhood or family friend, then you’re really in for it when it ends. Relationships like these never last because one person becomes more emotionally invested than the other, and all hell breaks loose.

Because there’s always two people involved, the risk of hurting someone or you getting hurt are always high – whether the relationship is purely physical or romantic in nature. In my experience, you have to like someone at least a little bit in order to have a good, lasting physical relationship with that person. I certainly can’t have sex with someone on a continual basis who can’t make me laugh or stimulate my mind in some way. That’s what makes sex great and pleasurable. It’s the connection, not just the physical act.

When you have no expectations, you have no disappointments. If you can go into a relationship with a switch to turn your feelings on and off, then you’ve won half the battle. Some might think that’s cold and heartless, but you either have to protect yourself or that other person, and trust me when I say, that other person isn’t looking out for anyone but their self.

People leave each other. But do they return?

I couldn't apprehend the things that happens to me on a daily basis. At times, I question myself before I head to bed and the next morning, those thoughts still lingers. I don't know if these are supposed to be normal to all independent young adults who's trying to survive in this world where almost everything is a competition. Hahaha feels weird to say "independent young adults" especially when I'm 3 months away to turning a year younger. Btw, I'm forever young in my own bubble though my actions might sometimes differ. :P

I guess one of my problem is that I forgive too easily and that people around me just take advantage of that because they know that at the end of the day they'll still have me. I'm not staying that that notion is wrong. It is absolutely true, unfortunate or not. They are reasons why some are always in your life. They are reasons why some comes and right when they have a stake in your heart, they'll leave. They are reasons why some never did make it to the gates.

I wished I can schedule myself an appointment with god and ask him everything and anything I'd like to know. Sure you may tell me to pray and I do (quite faithfully I may add) but my prayers aren't making things obvious for me. Or perhaps I'm just turning a blind eye because I "want things to turn out my way"?

"Allah gives us gifts, but then we come to love them as we should only love Him. We take those gifts and inject them into our hearts, until they take over. Soon we cannot live without them. Every waking moment is spent in contemplation of them, in submission and worship to them. The mind and the heart that was created by Allah, for Allah, becomes the property of someone or something else. And then the fear comes. The fear of loss begins to cripple us. The gift—that should have remained in our hands—takes over our heart, so the fear of losing it consumes us. Soon, what was once a gift becomes a weapon of torture and a prison of our own making. How can we be freed of this? At times, in His infinite mercy, Allah frees us…by taking it away."

Be right back love.

" A friend's words on Leap of Faith.

"Why do you stay in a prison when the door is so wide open? "

It is when you take a chance. Chance on not just being happy but more of being ecstatic. Yes there are risks and these risks can be terrifying. I feel the most difficult is trusting in your own ability and strength to handle the consequences.

But personally, I want to rake chances. I dream of making big changes. Because while it's scary to leave what is safe, its even more frightening to contemplate a life unfulfilled.

Faith is taking the first step even when you don't see the whole staircase.

Faith is like a blind man believing in the sun, not because he can see him, but because he can feel.

Feel, go with your heart. "

Confession.

I hardly get jealous and it's not easy for me to feel nor for one to make me feel that way but when I was scrolling my Instagram.. There's this particular girl that receives roses and love letters quite frequently from her partner. Not that I like roses that much. Peonies, tulips and lilies over roses please. Then of course, I assume that roses are just way more easier to purchase? I don't know.

Honestly, I find that move extremely cheesy (the whole roses and love letters thingy) and I cannot see myself in that situation BUT for a minute (or two) I felt the pinch. #1 question is, why the hell do I feel even feel this pinch in my heart? Ps: Yes I'm happy that she receives such things and it does give me hope that they are still gentlemen out there.

Oh ya, it doesn't help that she has got a huge rock on her perfectly manicured fingers either. Haha.

Color Run SG 2013.

I HAD CRAZY FUN TIMES WITH THE BABES. IT WAS LIKE RUNNING AND PARTYING AT THE SAME TIME HAHAHA.

DON'T JUDGE PLEASE. NEXT UP, ELECTRIC RUN. CANNOT WAIT! WOOHOO.