People leave each other. But do they return?

I couldn't apprehend the things that happens to me on a daily basis. At times, I question myself before I head to bed and the next morning, those thoughts still lingers. I don't know if these are supposed to be normal to all independent young adults who's trying to survive in this world where almost everything is a competition. Hahaha feels weird to say "independent young adults" especially when I'm 3 months away to turning a year younger. Btw, I'm forever young in my own bubble though my actions might sometimes differ. :P

I guess one of my problem is that I forgive too easily and that people around me just take advantage of that because they know that at the end of the day they'll still have me. I'm not staying that that notion is wrong. It is absolutely true, unfortunate or not. They are reasons why some are always in your life. They are reasons why some comes and right when they have a stake in your heart, they'll leave. They are reasons why some never did make it to the gates.

I wished I can schedule myself an appointment with god and ask him everything and anything I'd like to know. Sure you may tell me to pray and I do (quite faithfully I may add) but my prayers aren't making things obvious for me. Or perhaps I'm just turning a blind eye because I "want things to turn out my way"?

"Allah gives us gifts, but then we come to love them as we should only love Him. We take those gifts and inject them into our hearts, until they take over. Soon we cannot live without them. Every waking moment is spent in contemplation of them, in submission and worship to them. The mind and the heart that was created by Allah, for Allah, becomes the property of someone or something else. And then the fear comes. The fear of loss begins to cripple us. The gift—that should have remained in our hands—takes over our heart, so the fear of losing it consumes us. Soon, what was once a gift becomes a weapon of torture and a prison of our own making. How can we be freed of this? At times, in His infinite mercy, Allah frees us…by taking it away."