Promise to self.

I need to stop berangan because this is all to early to say but one thing's for sure, I'm really excited for what's in for the future. The 5 year plan that I have for myself, family and other half.. I hope it'll all work out to be okay and not too far off from what I've always dream off. From the the period of my graduation, the moving in and renovation of dream space, the type of baju to be worn, that open concept kitchen, the cement vs wood tiles, savings to be untouched till some things are ready, treating the beloved parents to a well deserved x all expenses paid vacation, solemnization at that particular mosque which holds great-special meaning to me/us, breezy alila villa, lovely nights in luxurious riads..
Those are the sneak peeks. Till then, it's hustle time. xx

$$$$

I think I might have done my finance expenditure more than twice monthly and I'm left speechless with the amount I've saved or spent. Hitting a certain target is not easy, especially when you've got bills and school fees to pay for. Of course, most of us in our early twenties are experiencing the same struggle and as much as I feel that my income is not much, I do give thanks to god for it but I always pray for more. A few hundred in raise can do a lot of difference and I'm really hoping for the best from 2015 onwards.

The quote, "hustle now, shine later" is always etched in my mind and if I can have it tattooed, that might be it. Hahaha. Bottom-line of this post is that my account balance makes me wanna cry.

Ps; my exams are in less than a month and I'm freaking hell scared for nobody else but myself.

You pray to me, your lucky star, your singing satellite.

X

By far, my bestest set of babes.

Faezah's 27th was celebrated at Fish & Co GlassHouse and we went a lil crazy with the #wefies. Damnn we had a lot of time laughing and talking like bullet train. +++ so happy to see Nurul and Zie with their caramel tanned skin. Which makes me envious and I simply can't wait for my diving trip this October 31st! Hehehe.

 

Met this prettaye B2B to collect my material for the bridesmaid outfit and had a good catchup at Cahaya over claypot x  sotong you char quay my favouriteeeee. Always glad to talk to this teacher of mine! Again, can't wait for the final product of it and I should be sending it to have it tailored by end of next week or this Deepavali! The year is coming to an end, quite a few things gotta be done promptly! 

That necklace belongs to birthday girl but of course I had to sebok-menyebok and "jazz" up my outfit.  I even borrowed Zaimah's? Or was it Nurul's shades? Hahahahaha. If you'd know me better.. The only accessory I own are my pandoras and agnes b earring. Planning to get the swarovski starfish once I'm back from my Tioman trip. I don't care if it's slightly big because after years, there's none that I liked except for the Tiffany's but too ex it's merepek hahahaha.

This was taken on Zie's "surprise" birthday staycation and parties on the bed are always fun ain't it? :D

The only two other girls that are missing from above are Atiqah and Imah and then, it would have been a complete blog post but..... It's been way too long since we last went out together. I miss them like crazy and I wished we had more time to go out and just be crazy butttt time does not permit! :(

A ∞ Z

Breakfast after his night shift equals to breakfast at Alif for prata and teh tarik made me jumped for joy (hahaha ps: I’m a total morning person) because we rarely get the weekends together! One of the places that we've tried for dinner was Vintage Delicafe and that’s one place that we both agreed we will patronize often. I’ve heard many good reviews about the place and super glad that we went ahead with it on one of thoseee date nights. Totally worth your money and boomz on your taste-buds! I loved the whole concept where we can choose our level of spicy-ness! *two thumbs up*

 When we first dated, I told myself and even confidently to my girlfriends that I would be okay to meet my other half once a week (and that it will surely be enough) till lately, I decided to take back my words. Zaki fetches me from work or from UniSIM almost every other time he is free and the next best thing we do together is to eat. Of course I don't document every step of ours because it is always kept within the heart (hahahaha bloody cheesy, I know) and I truly do appreciate the time taken on his side to spend time with me. Icing to the cake? I look forward to such QTs aka quality time and always counting my blessings to have another soul for me to annoy, and to love every single day.

My family, girlfriends and other half makes me whole.

 Brought Atiqah out for her birthday lunch at PS Cafe @ Palais Renaissance and was pretty disapointed with my Prawn Aglio Olio because there was barely any spice to it. It lacks the garlic and cili padi like how I like and expected it to. In fact, it was oily. Bummer ain't it? And yes, I know I should have gotten the truffle fries but we had zero interest for that at that point of time. Hahaha.

 I decided to treat the parents to Tiffany's Cafe at Furama just so that I can spend some time with them before Dad did his knee operation and again, the food was nowhere our expectations. I should have brought them to any of the Turkish restaurants at Arab Street lor. Seriously, I/we would be more puas hati. The food wasn't thatttt bad la but the interior could have been improved. I'm shocked as to how the management can allow such tables and chairs still be utilized. :/

Day out with the cousins, was one hell of a crazy yet relaxing! It rained in the late morning to early afternoon and we almost cancelled it for stay at home movie marathon but thank god for some who insist hahahaha. The weather when we reached West Coast Park was perfect. Cool and breezy + the fact that every family had a task to do/bring/cook, made the whole pot luck picnic great! We left for home (our home) to shower, did our Marghrib prayers before purchasing Red Riding Hood from MioTV and continued snacking till it was time for the kiddos to head home. L O V E.

I don't know if it's appropriate to label myself as an OCD person as my work desk is not exactly arranged neatly where my documents and folders are stacked accordingly but I try to clear and keep it mess free, daily. Unless if I end work really late and I know I have tons to do the following day, I will not bother because at 8.30am, work begins full on. BUT my room, has got to be clean and tidy at ALL times. I cannot stand girls with freaking messy rooms. How the hell do you live in a room where your bed is undone, your clothes are lying on the floor, dirty mirrors and rooms where you don't freaking open up the windows for ventilation?! Gross.

Often you will see me blabbering on twitter on how mad I am with my second sister with her not helping out or rather, only helps out when I asked her to. I mean.. Shouldn't all these be done voluntarily already? I get so tired and pissed when constant reminders have to fall on death ears and all she does is watch her One Direction videos on youtube. Like what the effing hell right? To add to that, unfair when they want to borrow my clothes and expects a Yes, all the time + instantaneously. That comes to a point where I pray really hard that Zaki or whoever my lawful husband to be, will be a neat freak or rather have some form of initiative to help me out with keeping things clean. Because guys, I cannot be doing this, alone, for the rest of my life. I might go crazy hahahahaha.

Not so little something.

I've been wanting to post for quite some time but every single time I'm back in this space, I will just drift into blanks. Nowadays, it only seem right to keep things to a more personal level. I don't know why I'm doing that either but I guess, when you are at the peak of crazy happiness or down with a thousand an one negative feelings.. You no longer see the need to share on a particular platform anymore.

Okay whatever, I doubt I'm making much sense here but one thing's for sure.. I'd like to share this!

So, it seems that it would also naturally follow that our relationships will progress faster. But the frequency of how often someone is in our life does not change our emotional capacity to develop a real lasting bond with them any quicker. We can say whatever we want about past generations, but the fact of the matter is that many people have been married two or three times in the span of time that our grandparents’ have been married to each other.

Older generations set fires. They would begin to burn with a small smoldering flame and eventually evolve into a roaring blaze as they continued to stoke it. Our generation seems to be setting off fireworks. There is a spectacular display that is quite often beautiful, but unpredictable and ends as quickly as it began. Leaving behind only the memory of the experience.

We are not allowing ourselves the time to actually build a foundation with each other. We are an instant-gratification society and we are, unfortunately, carrying the same attitude into our relationships. We always want the next best phone or the next best tablet and toss aside the obsolete version without a second thought. Sadly, it seems we do this with significant others as well.

But sometimes decisions are made that don’t allow that to happen so easily. People who are barely old enough to rent a car are buying homes with or making lifelong commitments to someone they have only known for a few months. Sure, everyone is different and sometimes ‘when you know, you just know,’ but drastic lifestyle changes do not allow us to settle in comfortably. This can easily lead to regret not too far down the road. Not to mention resentment for your partner. Two things that should never be present in a relationship.

Some may call me cynical for this outlook, but inevitably I see a consistent course of events. “Engaged” on Facebook turns back to “Single.” New mothers are complaining that the child’s father is suddenly an absentee dad.

The sad part is, some of these couples probably would have had a chance if they had taken their time and let their relationship develop and flourish, instead of leaping ahead and putting too much pressure on their bond, too soon. Love is not something you just fall into overnight. It is the creation of two people who have worked together to cultivate it and allow it to grow.

It is only natural to realize that we need to strengthen something before we test it. Committing your entire life to someone you have only known for a few months, or even just a year, has not given you the glimpse into who they truly are that you will need to see in order to make a decision of that magnitude. Even sharing an apartment or house together too soon opens up an entire new set of complications that a new couple will be unprepared for.

Have you seen this person react to a tragedy? A challenge in life? Frustrations? Failures? Do you know how they act around children or if they would make a good parent? Is this someone with similar views of the future as you? Will they really be there for you in a time of need? It takes time to learn these things. Valuable time that teaches us lessons about people we simply cannot learn in the short term.
Too often people are left saying “but they changed!” No they didn’t, you just finally learned who they really were. The truth came out. People can only put on a facade for so long, and if you make a permanent decision based on a temporary emotion, there is only trouble to follow.

You may feel lust. You may feel an overwhelming emotional attachment or connection to someone quickly. But if we allow our emotions to rule us completely we very often tend to make irrational decisions that backfire in the future. We need to recognize the difference between lust and love, as well as have the self control to allow things to progress naturally and not jump into something before we are ready.

We need to work harder to create the building blocks of lasting love if that’s what we actually want to have.
I will say this – for the people who have experienced life and relationships and love and know what they do and don’t want in a partner, I believe it  is much more realistic for them to recognize the right person when they come along. But for those without the life experience to build off of, it is a different story.

If you wouldn’t want someone to be your best friend for the rest of your life, don’t make them your spouse. And if you wouldn’t make someone a husband or a wife, don’t make them a parent. Our generations have it too easy in terms of an out. “‘Til death do us part” has become “Until I get bored of you.”

If you want brief entertainment, then by all means light off as many fireworks as you want. When one falls out of the sky, you will have another fuse waiting. But if you want a long lasting connection that will warm your heart for years to come, you will need to commit to stoking a fire.

Not so sure about you but the last two paragraph hit me hard in the mind and the heart, of course. I've been back into the "in a relationship"status (though nothing's changed in FB) and I can only pray the best for the both of us. As mentioned before, I've never felt this right with a particular someone. It's been so long since I last looked forward to meeting or seeing someone for a couple of times per week. Besides my usual babes that is and hmm maybe Atiqah? Coz we never fail to hang out once a week! Hahaha. Also, there was once I told my gfs that meeting my other half once a week would suffice but hey, I gotta take back my words. Hehe.

Though that being said, we have our long days of not meeting each other due to each others' commitment but damnnn I'm sure with god's will, we will make it thorough. Gotta keep the positivity level up, right? xx

I'm exhausted. Not angry nor sad.

Do you know what this mean?