I've been meaning to share this particular something for quite a while but I'm always lost for words as it's pretty overwhelming for me to share (yes somehow it does hahaha). Everything's been super smooth sailing and as much as I'm happy (very happy), I fear of that "what-if-this-doesn't-work-out" kinda shit. Yeap you may say hell to being pessimistic and more positive mojo needs to be installed in me! But yeahh there's always that small percentage of doubt. That aside, just so you know.. I'm trying and have been keeping up with all the lurvee hahahahaha! :)
Day in, day out, I never fail to ask myself what are the qualities that this man have that managed to capture my heart. This heart that was guarded with cold hard bricks which was stacked up ever so meticulously.. Oh my, for all one knows.. The prayers that my grandma, parents and myself been praying are half answered. Why half answered? Because we aren't yet officially each others' and will only be so till the akad nikah. Sure that's a far fetched kind of vision but hey, I may be dating and enjoying myself but let's all face it, a beautiful marriage and a lovely home is what I want at the end of the day. It's important, it's special.
I have had a few guy-friends that I know would like me more than just a friend and as much as they are truly nice and such good gentlemen (I've been with idiots but no two men are the same and they deserve the best treatment nonetheless. My tip, be yourself and I guess.. That's where they fall for you even more. Remember, personality over looks people! x ), I think I just wasn't meant for them? I don't know. There's always something missing, somehow. Or perhaps, my heart wasn't ready? I truly do not know..
Meeting Zaki again for the first time in so many years was nothing short of another dinner and casual movie with a good close guy friend of mine. It was strictly two old friends or rather, ex-colleagues, meeting to catch-up. But oh goddddddddd, who knew sparks freaking flew the minute he sent me back at my house car park?! Feelings that I thought I've lost 3 years ago, came back. Typing these down, give me chills fyi. *feel free to roll your eyes coz it might come across as cheesy max and I'm not a fan of such but haiyaaaaa people, I cannot help it!*
For the first time in years, I was interested and genuinely wanted to meet someone again and again. Like hellooooo? I only do so if I'm into the person or if you're like one of only girlfriends.. And ps; I've never been more comfortable being around him or maybe because I simply know he loves me even at my masai-est time. HAHAHA.
In between our dinner dates or night drives, we had plenty real and straightforward talks and those conversations meant a lot to me as that made me realize the path that we both are looking at going into for the future. I'd say, so far it's all been good and I accept the person he was before. I'm not exactly a saint either and we are all in the road of constantly learning to be a better person. May it be for each other or for yourself.
Long story cut short, I feel extremely lucky to have crossed path (again) with a friend (but now da naik pangkat sikit la coz he's my boyfriend! hahahaa cannot believe I have that down!) who now holds a major stakeholder in my life/heart/soul, one who's blessed with a kind heart, surprising cute, forever funny, hero hindustan in my eyes hehehehe, one who understands my work events x uni schedule and plus point - we are in tune with manyyyyy things which surprises not just him but myself as well. This minute right now, I can never and will not ask for anything more. I'm happy with where I am, where we are at and that's pretty much all that matters.
Happiness.
