Two things to note.

I get very emotional when I'm sick and I tend to act like things are okay when they're not.

Feelings :(

Can't believe I backspaced a whole chunk of words. Never thought I'd put much thought before I pen down my feelings.

Of cafe hunts, sincere conversations and comfortable silence. That, has been a while.

Red blood cells.

Like I've mentioned before, the love I have for my family on my mom's side is unexplainable. We are so damn close that I sometimes gets worried if anything bad is ever gonna happen to us. To all of us. I dare say that I've got the coolest bunch of aunts and uncles too! Anyway, some may say it's because of the 1 or 2 years age gap between all of us cousins but I beg to differ. One of the youngest one, the mini mak nenek of me is only 4 years old and I'm like 23? And she still sticks to me like a glue whenever I'm around here. Not that I'm complaining as she's annoyingly cute hahaha. If you've been following me on my IG, you'd get what I mean.

For now, I'll leave you lovelies with a couple of photos to make my blog less wordy. Yes, I've been writing more than posting visuals but I'm afraid I might blind your eyes with my over narcissistic self. HAHA.

 More photos of la familia will be uploaded soon. Hopefully by this weekend and also the long over due KL Trip photos. Oh godddd I've been postponing it for the longest time and next weekend I'll be heading to Krabi which BTW IS A TRIP THAT I'M SUPER EXCITED FOR. In fact, anything on vacation makes me over the moon la. It's not that difficult to say that I need a break. We all need one every few months. xx

Why hate when you can love?

If you want to bring me down, try harder. I've handled tons of bullshit and this shit you're throwing at me is really nothing. Sure, the easy way is perhaps to leave but nahhhh that's not gonna happen. Till then, happy hating while I enjoy loving the people around me.

Much love, Shiqin.

Hehe.

Gooddd morning darlings! Okay besides the fact that lil miss red decides to come today, I've got 3 good news to share. 1) I made hot earl grey tea for myself and ps; it's crazy cold in the office + it rained heavily earlier! Not that it's a big deal to pour hot water on a glass and dump the teabag in but yeah I can be pretty lazy and "starve" till lunchtime. Haha. 2) I took/steal hahaha 1 choc chip muffin from the dozen that my youngest sister baked last night and it's happily swimming in the tums now. 3) I read this article and damnnnn it's like a wakeup call for me! As much as some part of it smacks me right at the forehead, I love the pinch of humor. Especially the last sentence ladies. :P

Waiting For A Text From A Casual Partner.

First off, chill the fuck out.

You are a smart, capable, interesting, attractive and confident woman who just hasn’t had much time to see or speak to her sort-of-boyfriend for the last couple of weeks There is no reason he could have lost interest – other than just generally getting bored; which is something you can’t prevent, no matter how much you love to be in control. And even if you could do something to stop him from “going off” you for no real reason, would you want to? He’s just a dick if that’s what happened – if he’s going to stop seeing you without explanation and just hope you’ll get the message from his silence. Especially after you’ve been seeing each other for four months. ESPECIALLY since he did all the chasing to start off with and you’ve got mutual friends so you’ll still have to see each other.

But anyway, in all likelihood, he hasn’t lost interest and you’re just overreacting. He’s a boy – he probably isn’t even thinking about it; he just needs space and is a bit bored of doing all the running while you’ve been busy. Asking him to hang out this week isn’t needy or desperate or a big deal, apart from in your head where you’ve somehow blown it up to me. He doesn’t realise he was on the receiving end of a really loaded text where his reply and the time frame it arrives in mean the world to you. He’s just a dude who got a text from the girl he’s dating asking if he’d like to hang out this week, and he’ll reply when he’s ready.

When you think about it, his behaviour over the last month or so hasn’t really been much different to usual – for some reason it’s you that’s changed… go back to how you were in the beginning! Fun! Assertive! Not reactive, not overthinking – just going with the flow. I know it feels different now because you Really Like Him, but the only difference really is that you’ll be slightly hurt by a rejection. Everyone gets hurt sometimes… I know you’ve built walls up over the last few years to minimise your pain, but fortunately or otherwise, this guy has managed to break through them and you’re no longer immune. It won’t kill you to feel a bit of heartache (if that’s what this comes to) – it might even be good for you to experience rejection, Little Miss Ego.

Anyway, it’s not going to come to that because he’ll have been pleased to hear from you. Pleased you’ve made the effort for the first time in ages. And when you’re home tonight, sitting on your bed and crying along to a Taylor Swift song because you feel like no one will ever love you again, he’ll probably text you telling you his day was manic and asking when you want to set something up for.

And if all else fails just remember the single girls’ mantra: If he’s not interested, he’s an asshole.

5. “Hi, there’s a major inequity of love going on here”.

People often say that in relationships, one person always has to love the other one more. I used to think this was true but now I think it’s bullshit. Love should be mostly equal and if it’s not, the relationship can’t sustain itself. When I was with someone who loved me less, I couldn’t stick around because it was too damn painful. Every day I was somehow reminded of the inequity and it killed me. To make things worse, I knew that this person wasn’t going to have the balls to dump me so I did it for him. Rude. If you don’t love someone as much as they love you, the least you could do is dump them! 

Of mondays.

My thoughts are all over the place right now and I'd like to apologize in advance if what I'm about to rant here are unorganized. I hate the fact that I'm losing my happy mojo and this always happens when I'm in love or falling for someone. It makes me feel inadequate because I don't think I'm good enough or I'm his cup of coffee. That whole wondering feeling sucks too and I'm not supposed to be feeling that way because I know I'm awesome hahaha. Sometimes I do admit I can be a bit nonchalant to things where I'm supposed to show a lil more concern but cmon, how much care and concern can I show if the other doesn't seem to be slightest interested? Not to mention, how many times more can I ignore the fact that my invitations to meet ups gets ignored? They say man has their ego but hey, we ladies have our own feelings too you know.

I'm not the kind that gets offended or merajuk easily but when I do.. Adoi it's gonna be tough. I usually forgive almost instantly but for me to like be okayyyy or be as normal as I was before with you? It might take a while and besides, time heals. Doesn't it? xx

If its dark in your life right now, be patient. The sun always rise. 

And if it's light right now, be thankful. 

But don't get attached to the sun. It is in its design to also set.

Wise men once shared.

Nothing is eternally damaged. Not even you. I think we have a tendency to exacerbate things in our minds by the way of not being able to let them go. Logically, it makes sense to stop thinking about something that upsets you, but we just can’t. It’s like we want to torture ourselves. It’s like we want to think through the issue just one more time and see if we can find the light at the end of its tunnel but we never will. We just drop ourselves further into the cesspool and we can drown ourselves there. However we just can’t sit around and let ourselves crumble when these things do happen even when we’re feeling like all of our worst fears came true and there’s no reason for going on. Even when you feel lifeless and like there’s nothing that can propel you out of it well, you’re right about one thing. You are the only way you will be propelled out, one small step at a time. And you remember, that even if you are temporarily hurt, you will not be broken forever. - Ard R.

Today marks the last day of fasting month this year and I've been to the bazaar in Geylang and Jurong West once each. Definitely more than enough because the only reason I went there is to get the green packets and to fulfill my cravings. I loveeee Roti Boyan (especially when the sweet chilli sauce are spicier than normal!), Vadai and Nasi Ambeng very much. Cmon, you guys should know how much I love rice right? Haha. Oh and not forgetting kerepok lekor and dengdeng as well! All these yums that I get to savour once a year are like a must have at least once!

A good feast with Kak Norfa at Swenses after work was indeed a need as we've been postponing our dinner date for god knows how many times hahaha. We ordered individual mains and hell yeah I was very happy with my Black Pepper Seafood Pasta (it's bahang nak mampos = super shiok pleaseee!). Sides was the chicken wings that's deep fried and their NY fries needs no introduction okay? I eat that with tons of tartar sauce. LOVE it!

Okay I think I kinda talked too much about food hahaha but I can't help it! :P 

Anyway, on a Wednesday night iftar was with Renny at supposingly Eighteen Chefs but the queue was freaking longgggg. Thus a detour to Pastamania. Haha. Walked over to Taka for Laduree and after boxes of it, I finally paid for my own set of macarons! I can't believe I'm addicted to something that I never thought I'd like. But oh wells.. :) Aisyah met us for some coffee (though she was supposed to join us for dins but due to her flight delay), it was just more laughter and drinks till late. Nonetheless, always a crazy time with them two.
Who knew strangers could get together and click so well?

Via All True Men.

In a brief conversation, a man asked a woman he was pursuing the question: “What kind of man are you looking for?”

She sat quietly for a moment before looking him in the eye & asking, ‘Do you really want to know?’ Reluctantly, he said,”Yes.”

She began to expound…

“As a woman in this day & age, I am in a position to ask a man what can you do for me that I can’t do for myself? I pay my own bills. I take care of my household without the help of any man…or woman for that matter. I am in the position to ask, ‘What can you bring to the table?’”

The man looked at her. Clearly he thought that she was referring to money.

She quickly corrected his thought & stated, “I am not referring to money. I need something more. I need a man who is striving for excellence in every aspect of life.”
 
He sat back in his chair, folded his arms, & asked her to explain. She said, “I need someone who is striving for excellence mentally because I need conversation & mental stimulation. I don’t need a simple-minded man.

I need someone who is striving for excellence spiritually because I don’t need to be unequally yoked…believers mixed with unbelievers is a recipe for disaster.

I need a man who is striving for excellence financially because I don’t need a financial burden.

I need someone who is sensitive enough to understand what I go through as a woman, but strong enough to keep me grounded.

I need someone who has integrity in dealing with relationships. Lies and game-playing are not my idea of a strong man.

I need a man who is family-oriented. One who can be the leader and provider to the lives entrusted to him by God.

I need someone whom I can respect. In order to be submissive, I must respect him.

I cannot be submissive to a man who isn’t taking care of his business. I have no problem being submissive…he just has to be worthy.

And by the way, I am not looking for him…He will find me. He will recognize himself in me. Hey may not be able to explain the connection, but he will always be drawn to me. God made woman to be a help-mate for man. I can’t help a man if he can’t help himself.”

When she finished her spill, she looked at him.

He sat there with a puzzled look on his face. He said,”You are asking a lot.”

She replied, “I’m worth a lot”.

Friday morninggggg.

Finally, the week is coming to an end and much as I don't have any plans this Friday night, I care not because that means I can continuously do my terawih prayers after work and insyallah, start baking Raya cookies that I've searched online yesterday! I'm planning to bake.. Earl Grey Shortbread Cookies, Pastel Sugi, Cornflakes Chocolate Chip Meringue and Honey Cornflakes! As much as I'm excited, I hope it turns out nice as it was on the recipe websites and as it was the past years. Because you know.. Mistakes are bound to happen. Haha.

 Andddddd I'm totally digging Jessica Biel's outfits! Classy, elegant and never trashy. I can so imagine myself wearing what she wore. Hahaha. But seriously, if I was given a chance, I'd wear those without having to think twice! On top of that, check out her complexion/make-up ladies!
L O V E.