I.

The only thing that has been bothering me late at night and usually early morning is the fact that we don't talk as often as we did before. In all honesty, I miss those times where we can talk about anything and everything, the things that happens daily at work or at home, the events that we've been to or simply ranting and complaining about our day, disturbing and annoying each other but always ending up with a smile. I mean.. At least that's how I felt and I hope the same goes to you too.

Hope is probably all that I have.

I wished you'd ask me again, I wished you'd get on my nerves like you always do, I wished you'd say something. This friendship that we both share. It's different. It's different when it's with you and I don't ever want to lose you, even if we are just.. Friends.

4 letter word.

I gave up with this shit.

Of November Thirty.

Turning 23 wasn't such a big thing for me this year maybe because I already had the intention of having it a small affair with family and the close ones. Though till now, I'm still somber over the fact that I got no mini brownie with a lighted candle nor a birthday card. Haha oh well, I guess it's not my year or nobody thought that it's important to have one. There's a reason why I said that it's different and I truly know or rather, can see who puts in effort and who simply goes with the flow. That aside, time to photo spam!

 Pre-birthday dinner at Nasrin since every other place I'd like to try don't do reservation or simply full house. Thank god their food was, or rather has been good albeit the fact that I can sheesha that night. Many thanks to Syaf especially for the night and I lurveeee the Ted Baker bling bling purse! It's super eye catching and has lotsa compartments for me to use. Perfecto!

I wanted to bring the family out to Gurame at Changi Beach but the thought of traveling all the way in.. I was so malas. Haha. Therefore, next best thing was to cook for the family and bake myself a cake! Hell yeahhh I've been wanting to do that for weeks! Syirah helped with the strawberry cheesecake which turned out a little too sweet but hey! that's expected right? Both Syirah and I are sweet. HAHAHA. I still am loving the salmon that I baked in the oven. So simple and yet major noms! Besides all the food, dearest mom bought me white roses on my birthday! That was ♡♡♡

 Met the online babes that I've somehow grown closer to. Renny needs no introduction la coz I've been out with her for quite a while and all thanks to her, I got my MUFE loot at a huge discount. Nothing but praises for the Mat Velvet +, HD Primer, HD loose powder and the Intense Rouge lipstick that I did not regret buying one it! My very first red lippie that compliments my skin tone greatly. I can't wait to have it on special occasions! Dinner at Maison Ikkoku Cafe and huge portion of smoked salmon x avocado x ciabatta. I didn't think the Paddle Pop Cake was great though. It was pretty boring and tasteless to me? Nevertheless, I had a good girl time!

Something that the twenties can relate to, myself included.

Our 20s are marked by restlessness. We reject the norms prescribed to us by a society that’s stagnant and self-interested. We revel in randomness manufactured by the hands of those we hope to impress. We refuse to accept that this is all there is.

Our expectations are tinged with hopeless idealism. We scoff at people who have settled, like those who moved back to their hometown or got engaged to their college sweetheart. We take pride in our freedom and independence while pitying our loneliness and indecision.

We’re a generation of flakes and dreamers. Just knowing that we can go anywhere and do anything gives us permission to ignore all that doesn’t fit neatly into this idea of who we are. And at times, we feel immortal. That life is a never-ending weekend of cheap beer and fish tacos and thrift stores and dance parties.

But deep down we’re terrified that we’ll wake up to find the world has moved on without us. That what we had in mind was just a misguided vision. That maybe there isn’t anyone out there who understands us the way we need to be understood. Or loves us the way we need to be loved. Or needs us the way we need to be needed.

Our 20s are exciting and confusing and wonderful and frustrating – all at the same time.
There are moments when I feel like it’s too much. That the process is too difficult. That figuring it out is too heartbreaking. And I’m not sure I’m strong enough to carry all of this weight.
Sometimes I wish I could fast forward ten years into the future, just to see how it all turns out. I wish there was a formula I could follow to get the life I think I want. I wish someone would take me by the shoulders and tell me everything will be okay.

But sometimes when I’m walking home by myself on a dimly lit street, I’m happy for no reason at all. Because I’ve never felt so alive with the possibility that anything could happen.

 

Lately.

It's like back on a roller coaster ride, one minute I feel the high and don't need anybody's validation and when the time comes, I hit bottom low. Hate it.

It's like a never ending ride, with nobody to push the stop button, the rush and then the sick in the stomach feeling followed by the fall of the heart. This has to stop but it isn't. Hate it.

Well hello there you.

Woahhhh I've totally neglected this space and I feel sorry for nobody else but myself. At times I see no point in sharing anything here anymore because aside from the fact that I doubt anybody bothers to read, I'm always on twitter and instagram. Therefore, the need to blog lessens as I share most of the things there. Haha.

Oh wells, might reserved this space for more "personal" thoughts.. Till then.

To breathe.

The time of the month couldn't strike me at a better timing. I attending this ICDL Advanced Excel course, with a test at the end in order for me to get the certificate that's known worldwide fyi and me being myself, I somehow must pass it. Passing rate is 75% and okay la.. It wasn't that tough to begin with. What's tough is the freaking module paper that I have to get through this semester. Again, I can't believe I'm continuing a degree despite holding a job full-time. IT IS DAMN TIRING, MENTALLY AND PHYSICALLY DRAINED LA WA LAU. :((((

Can't help but feel a pinch of jealousy to those out there who gets the luxury of parent's sponsoring their studies and still, plays around and not caring a single shit on graduating. Or those who are just job-hopping, not studying, not working, not doing anything. Bunch of.. Idiots. Oh wells, whatever. I'm just having it the hard way and.. Nothing ever comes easy right?

Hope when you take that jump, you don't fear the fall.

 Like what I've mentioned on IG, I didn't quite get the feel aka vibes that One Republic was trying to portray or pass on to their audience. And yes I was comparing them to The Script but then perhaps I gotta understand they are two completely different group of people. Even the place and number of crowd gathered was different! Nonetheless, I've always enjoyed myself no matter the minus points are to a concert/gig. My favourite songs from them were all played and for that to happen on a Tuesday night, it was pretty cool! xx

Like an angel PJs.

I simply cannot get over the fact that I would spend so much on something that nobody will actually see but you know what? Who cares.
At least I feel like an angel. HAHA.

For the time being, I shall be patient before I can get my hands on them. I gotta get over and done with my uni fees for next semester first before I can slowly shipped it over to my new US address. Kinda just found out than Comgateway is pretty efficient and the shipping fees are more affordable than VPost! Anyway, less than 2 months to go and I cannot wait for some mega sale to happen! XOXO.

In your dreams.

I thought men who kisses a lady's hand and opens the car doors doesn't exist but I was wrong. There still are but only a small percentage. Probably 1/10 men these days that still does that kinda sweet shits and hold and behold, I'm determine to find him. Hahahahha.

Of bridal musing, #justforfun ♡♡♡♡♡

Vintage Pin Up Aviator Engagement Shoot
 

 Chic 1950s Retro Diner Engagement Shoot

 Magical Winter Wedding Shoot: Roses, Snow & Red Velvet

  
A Secret & Oh So Romantic Picnic Proposal

  Unique Engagement Shoot Inspired By ‘Dancers Among Us’

 ♡♡♡♡♡ 

If I ever were to have such photo shoots or proposals, may it be as close as to what I've listed as above. From the outdoor location picked, the outfit worn by both parties, the smile that comes from the heart, the love that's obvious on and off the camera lens, the make-up and hairstyles, the theme of the "event".. Those came across as more than perfect to me (but of course, nothing's ever perfect and that my readers, is the beauty of all these things xx). One a separate note, dreams and wishes don't come true. Hard work does. So.. First up, quest for a homme soon? Hahaha.

Saturday morning.

To some, it may seem crazy to be in town right smack on a Saturday morning but since it was a breakfast date, I thought why not? And besides, I love starting my day early. Even if it means having fresh side salad, half boiled eggs and a cuppa tea on my own before I walked down to Lido for Escape Plan. Honest to goodness, I'm actually enjoying all these alone time and have slowly grown to loving it as well. Scary much? Be my guest. Hahaha. PS: 1) The lady that handled the tickets smiled when I said it's a seat for just one. 2) Movie theater was almost empty = shiokness. 3) The movie's awesome and I highly encourage everyone to watch it please. Love the twist in the midst and at the end of the movie!

I had that lovely orange lacey-printedish skirt for quite a while but never had the chance to wear it because I simply do not know what to pair it with till that.. Saturday morning at 9am hahaha. I'll post a proper photo to further emphasize on how bright and cheerful the design is the next time I have it on. Doubt it'll be the last I'll wear it. :)

 

Renny met me for lunch at Ayam Penyet Ria before we proceed to TWG at Taka. My first time there and definitely not gonna be my last either. The aroma of the Love Me Tea was simply divine and for the record, they've got many other teas. Perhaps a few hundred more? Yeap!
A+ for the interior and they keep up to their standards when it comes to the service as well. The chocolate cake we got with Singapore Breakfast Tea Ice Cream was a weirdly yet nice combo. Not too bad la or maybe it's because I've got crazy Renny sitting right opposite me. The both of us = #jodohverykuat #gojerdontscared #merepektakhabis. Hahahaha. Above all else, the place is really cozy and gives you at ease kinda feel despite the whole atas-ness it excludes. Simple and lovely, just the way I like it.

Later I met my best girl Syaf for "dinner". Our plan for the night was to watch the outdoor movie screening with regards to the Halloween night but unfortunately it rained therefore it's perhaps postponed to a later timing. So just went in to Asian Civilization Museum for the Arts-Halloween performance for a short while before settling for Arab Street. As per usual, Sufi's Corner was our choice and standard chicken wings + sheesha to end the night.

xx

Rant and misses.

I miss playing bowling. I miss visiting the arcade and spamming the basketball game till my arm hurts. I miss comfortable silence with the other half. I miss going for picnic and just laying by the beach to the sound of the crashing waves. I miss eating salmon sushi rolls till I really really had enough. I miss going for late night dates with someone special. I miss going out in sweat pants and plain white tee. I miss eating huat kueh with gula melaka. I miss eating putu piring. I miss eating red ruby. I miss the grilled chicken wings and sugar cane with lemon juice at east coast park. I miss eating tulang at beach road. I miss reading on a daily basis. I miss those times where I was diligent with keeping up my fitness level. I miss my polytechnic clique very much. I miss being a pillion. I miss playing captain's ball. I miss my 38kg self. I miss being a waitress.

Okay that's about all for now.

Loving River Island @ ASOS.

Me and Zie almost went crazy when we found out that River Island flagship stores in Vivo City and ION has closed down. I don't know about you babes but I loveeee their dresses, especially those maxi ones, and their cute yet classy purses that they carry. Thank everyone's lucky stars that ASOS still has them and the fact that free shipping applies, I was over the moon, sun and rainbow. Hahaha. 

River Island Asymetric Wrap Dress.

River Island Sleeveless Biker Dress.

 River Island Embellished and Mesh Bodycon Dress.

It's very unlike of me to wearing those (I've pretty much restricted myself to wear black-formal-dresses only to/for work and not for play.) because I don't quite like being all black-ish on a weekend or weekend nights. If you've been following me quite closely, you'll get my kinda style/personality. Haha. But I'm more than willing to try and change is good. Right? ;)

Looks perfect to me.

Don't you think so? ❤