Period rants.

I hate it when the the time of the month hits me, monthly. -_-

Besides the fact that my lower back feels like as if it's gonna break any time and the never ending excruciating pain in my tummy, I tend to over think, a lot, at night. Two night ago, I deleted my Instagram off my hand phone because I wanted to"get away" from all things social media. But what the hell right? The first thing that came to mind was, "What a childish move!" but hey, at least it didn't disturb anyone else right?

Anyway, I'm so tempted to hit a women's clinic to do a more thorough check-up but hey, the stuff I've been reading online scares the shit out of me. No way I'm I ever gotta cut a small hole near my belly button to look for stuff. I wished I'm married and attempting for a baby now. Call me crazy but hey, the last thing I ever wanna know is that I'm unable to bear a child. Torturous pain since I was 15, 10 years later to know that I can't conceive? I'll kill myself. No kidding. Been postponing my dream of having a child since I was 21 years old!!! Nope, this is not a joke or some kinda weird ambition. I've always wanted to be a young mom. FYI please.

Ps: Please don't tell me to go and get married ASAP because we both are not financially ready (we would be if we sacrifice our major holiday plans and erm.. My materialistic buys. Yes yes cutting down by a whole lot!) and I doubt we will ever get to do a nikah in that mosque followed by sit down reception for the very close ones. So yeappp don't suggest that please, my heart will ache. Hahahaha.