Will the ground just swallow me up already?

I've neglected this space for way too long, close to 2 months.. But who am I kidding? It has always been the case and I lack of discipline in penning down my thoughts along with many other things which includes, eating my supplements on daily, regular revision (oh god another warning email from Dr Luke), procrastinating in doing twice a week jogs and the list goes on...

These days, I've been thinking of way too many things and I wonder if I'm born to be an over-achiever or perfectionist though I know there's no such thing as a perfectionist after reading this article.Mehh. I just wished I could take a step back on sooooo many things but that means I will "lose out". Only god knows if I'm making sense right now but yeah that's how I feel at this very minute.

My love life has been nothing but great, awesome, ze best I've ever had but I seem to worry for things have being going on way too well. Sure it's a blessing to be on the same terms at every level and I share with him almost everything except for those days where I'm too bloody tired and occupied. But there's always the 'but'. Hahaha maybe I'm just crazy, I don't know. I just thank god after every subuh, marghrib and ishak, yes I've yet to do zohor and asar at work. Tryingg to work on it but... 

I love my mom and dad so much and sometimes I feel like I've neglected them by a bit. I'm the kind of person who loves spending time at home and sadly or not, lately, I've been having frequent dinners outside and the feeling sucks? So I try to "compensate" by packing food from home to have for lunch the next day. At the same time, I know I need to go out and meet my girlfriends and partner too. Which by the way, is a good beautiful handful. Striking a balance in life has never been a difficult task but why is it so now? If only I can split myself up. Or maybe I just need a breather. Or keep to my schedule and follow it closely like a freaking robot. -_-

Let's not begin on how torturous work was for the past 2 months and right when we thought we can take 5, another bomb drops on us. Oh wells, I've been thinking of other options as who doesn't want a higher income right? And especially when more responsibilities will be upon myself in a few years time... Never mind that, we'll let time decide as I'm in no rush for a career switch.

Ps: 1) My Istanbul trip's cancelled again. Yeap this is the second time and I think I've pretty much redha and maybe do it after marriage or "defy" my Dad's or Zaki's words. Yes yes I know, Zaki's only my boyfriend but I don't want unnecessary worries from him. Bleah. 2) I was so close to purchasing the items in my lust list but if I do then I'll be "sad" for wasting $$$$ on materials and not on a trip.