Headaches and heartpain.

Two days ago, I had a stab in my heart. Not that I would like to sound all dramatic but that was exactly how it felt like. Till now the feeling in my heart still remains and I wished that it never does happen to anybody else. It all first started out like this...

Our initial photographer was someone I thought could be trusted despite not having any mutual friends but we went ahead with the deposit because I simply believed that he would do good. Unfortunately, things took a turn sometime in mid 2017 where I started seeing bits of negativity posted about them. I did gave him the benefit of the doubt and later decided to hear his side of the story in which I thought okay, fine, let's give this guy a chance. But he later went silent on me and was uncontactable only to find out that he was doing his Umrah. Please note that I have no problems with people doing their pilgrimage but the least a company could do is to sent out a notice? Be it in a form of an out of office mail or just a quick shout out on their social media page so that we clients know that you're overseas. Oh wells. Long story cut short, he gave us his word that he'll return the deposit but it has been postponed thrice and I kindaaaaa give up or rather redha? I don't know man. It's like so sad to keep asking and half knowing that you're just gonna lose that sum that you've put in aka took you months to save up only to be placed in one that's irresponsible. :(

Secondly, venue of the wedding reception. I did a reccee mid last year at CDANS Home Team NS partly because it is walking distance from the house and thought the room was ideal for my reception of 300 - 350 guests (for a period of 6 hours seems okay). Only to find out 2 days ago that it was given to someone else because apparentlyyyyy my soft booking was not noted in their list of calendar. The person I liaised with, left the organization and totally didn't update his new team despite giving word to me that 1) should someone else be interested in the dates, I will be informed first. 2) booking and payment can only be done in January 2018. SO JUST IMAGINE HOW I FELT. Only god knows hahahahaha and I swear I wanted the ground to just swallow me up so that I could sleep in for as long as I want because I really didn't want to deal with such issues. Also to note that the new liaison officer simply ended the email conversation with a "sorry with the inconvenienced caused". Yupp, tell me about it...

Anyway, of course I had to go back to my second choice which is at Civil Service Club at Bukit Batok and I'm truly hoping for the best even though it isnt exactly what I had in mind either. But bleah beggars can't be choosers am I right?

If you thought my story ends there, you are wrong! :( I emailed The Villa at The Halia and their package for 1000 pax was super duper worth it! So worth it that I feel like crying at my office desk right now because I'm never letting go the fact that I could never do a combined wedding to save cost and get in the best wedding vendors, ever (in my eyes that is). Honestly, anything that were done by them are beautiful and would totally top all of my liking! Great location, fresh flowers used, clean environment, professionally written emails and the list could go on and nope, I'm not even biased right here. My only advise to any of you who are in a relationship or in the midst of planning of your own wedding, please get your in laws (or parents) to understand what saving means to you or just pray hard that they are on the same page to do a combined reception right from the start and it could ease the pain that I currently have hahahaha.

I guess it's truly true... What's meant to be, will be. And what's not... Will not.

Yikes it's 2018!

Mashallah this year is a whole brand new year for me to start "a new" and as much as I'm not keen on the whole new year resolution thingy, I hope it could at the very least help me reflect and bring me to become a better person. I've seen some improvement in myself but I feel like it is not enough. Though at the same time, I don't expect a miracle to happen aka for me to do a change 360 degrees out of a sudden too!

Completing my Zohor at work seems to be easier as I used one of the "spare room" which is basically an empty room which hosts our internal servers for our team vault and probably the Linus the mascot. + I could squeeze in that 5 mins right before lunch time ends. So, my next to tackle is to do Asar because to be honest, I can be quite free after 5pm+ but to actually go do my own stuff when everyone is back makes me feel abit uncomfy. My non-muslims colleagues have been really kind about it and makes me feel so thankful, everytime!

Another on my list (for now..), I hope to talk to my parents more often after I'm back from work but I'm usually annoyingly tired to talk much. I was told that once I get married and have kids, it's gonna be even more tiring. I don't know man... I'm praying hard to have an easy baby to handle in the future because omggg I don't know how else I could actually sleep in before 10pm (or maybe 11pm... Bleah) if the baby doesnt sleep? Okay, I am thinking a lil too much now.

Anyhoots, it's 10 months to the wedding in sha allah and I'm excited for everything except for moving out of my parents home and into Zaki's place. I guess every other lady would have the same feeling as I do but the fact that they have a chance of owning a place of their own, I'm envious. I can only pray........... That, I'll talk about it another time because for now, I'm just gonna enjoy the wedding prepration no matter how annoying my current photographer has been to us.

Toodles, till then! x

Omg so true!!!

But as many good stories I read, I read just as many negative stories. Stories on jealousy, stories on bad breakups, stories on how they got backstabbed, so many negative ones… And I can tell from the tone of the emails that the problem isn’t what happened but the problem comes from within. I want to be sympathetic of course, but I wish I can reply some of the emails with a “You are so much better than this. Life goes on so stop dwelling about the past.” Honestly some things in life are so petty. So it doesn’t matter if that girl has 10 more Chanel bags than you do, or that girl is running a successful business, or you’re jealous that your ex is going out with someone hotter. See, emails like these upset me and I feel like I should address this. Please don’t take offense because I am just simply giving my two cents and I honestly think everyone should find the good in life.

These kinds of negativity in our lives can only slow us down. All of this comes from self-pity. Why does this happen to me? Pity me, pity me. No, just no. When we pamper our emotions so much, I think we become weaker in our self-belief. Look, everyone gets tested by God, even those girls you think you hate. Some are easy tests, some are hard tests.. whatever they may be, we must always think God won’t test us if He knows we can’t handle it. God will always be with us, so whenever we feel down, just cry it out to Him (vent all you want, God never asks you to come back later), ask for the best guidance, get back up and off you go to your next meeting. DON’T. WASTE. TIME.

I do this all the time! Anytime I feel down or I can’t decide on something, I will always blab about my problems to God on my prayer mat. Sometimes I could go on and on and on… and I always feel so much stronger after. God is “online” all the time. You’ve just got to have faith that He’s there for you, and whatever test you’re going through, God’s got your back!

Positive vibes to all. *throws positive confetti in your face*

Something new to try.

Just do it?

AIYO.

You see, I was supposed to take baby steps to once again be "healthy & fit" and also to simply keep myself in check. And by keeping myself in check, I meant to actually do the 30-toilet-squats-daily and on-the-bed-leg-lifts but I haven't been doing so! Not forgetting the fact that I have been skipping religiously massaging coconut oil on my legs to help keep it moisturized as well as help with those annoying scars that I seem to perpetually have. -_-

Okay okay part 2 of Vietnam in Mui Ne coming soon!

Day 1 in Ho Chi Minh City

#1 reason why I'm writing these post down is because I miss traveling so much. I would totally have gone somewhere if I actually had nothing to care about but with the recent things happening at home, I'm left with no choice but to prioritize. Not that I'm feeling sore about it but I choose and have to believe that "God have better plans". Though.. I kinda keep asking god whyyyyy la he keeps testing me in this way. Like hello, just let my solo travel plan happen can anot ah? Give me your blessings lei. Hahahahaha. Okay okay, enough of these talks. Pictures and some captions, if I'm not lazy to further elaborate on my itinerary etc. Ahhh this is like a refresher of Day 1 in Ho Chi Minh City...

Because it's close to the end of the year, I can't remember what time exactly we reached but what I do remember is that the minute we touched down, we got into a metered cab and went straight to our first night's accommodation - Kaiteki Capsule Hotel. It was our first time experiencing in such a stay and was pretty "fascinated" at how everything worked in there. We were each given a capsule to sleep in, a password key for our lock which we store our haversack, clean towel and a small bucket for us to put our toiletries that was never used. I'll explain that later... But you guys need to know that I would stay again in this hotel should this be a one night stay in because it's very clean and the whole process was simple, staff tried their best and the people in there are all very easy going. 

It was already past lunch time and we were both very very very hungry and tryna looks for halal food when you're at a non-halal district was not thatttt easy. On second thoughts, it's not that difficult. We were just picky hahahahhaa. But I'm glad we were picky because this restaurant - Baba's Kitchen, that we settled for, was AWESOME. I love it!! And the fact that I'm typing these down, makes me stomach grumble. Or maybe it's close to myyyy lunch time at work la hahahaha.

  Yes it's non other than Indian food and NO REGRETS. I'd give a 10 out of 10 for the Fish Malabar and the service rendered was even better. Heck, I'd give 100/100 for all the food what we chose on the menu. The second photo you see is some kind of a dessert and it was given out for free because they simply wanted us to give it a try. Verdict: Not bad at all! Sweet yet savoury at the same time. I forgot what it's called but the taste was nutty and significant. It was served hot as well! We were lucky that the owner was in and he kindly explained that the spices they got are all from India. Ahhh anything authentic are always a hit.

Thereafter, we went to the The Sinh Tourist which was recommended by Tripadvisor (of course righttt) Ps: Please just get your bookings done there and not online. You'll save a hell lot of money. Back to the story, we thought we were at the wrong street but damnn it was just in front of us and we couldn't see it! Even got "scolded" when we asked an auntie on the streets to direct us to the sop number hahahahaa. Anyway started to book the things we would like to experience while in Vietnam. Because we had no time for the Mekong River, we settled for Cu Ci Tunnel and learnt a lotttt about what happened during the Vietnam war. Our guide spoke good English, our van was clean but the only thing we didn't enjoy was how loud the American boys were. Eg: They could talk for hours in the mini van with almost no break in between. Merepek dan memekak. Ikotkan hati, nak suroh diam aje but too bad, they are so strong in numbers. -_- 

We are actually exhausted because omgggg the 100m crawl, slide and climb plus the additional 3m deep down in the tunnel sure as hell turn our legs to jelly. But it was nice when we got to eat the ubi (pardon me, but I can't recall what it is in English!!) and we dip it in this sugar peanuts thingy for some flavour. It was nice. I mean.. If you're hungry, everything's nice right? HAHA.

Oh yes, earlier I mentioned that I'll explain to you why the bucket that was given to us to put our toiletries weren't use. This was why - NO WATER IN THE CAPSULE HOTEL. Yupp I kid you not. They said there was some kinda trouble trying to pump water up to the all the floors and there were some who left the hotel, asking for refunds and moved to a different hotel. Us? We thought the problem would be rectified when we came back at night, at about 10pm. But nooooo there was none. Imagine us sweaty, probably smelly and disgusted with ourselves. Like helloooo, Cu Ci Tunnel ain't exactly a breeze in the park okay. Sooooooooo, we ended up knocking at different massage and spa places asking if we could use their toilet to shower. HAHAHAHA. Thank god some kind soul allowed us to do so but as long as we took up their massage services. By the time we were done, it was close to 1am? Idk, it was just really quiet and pretty scary because by then there was almost no more tourists and we two girls had to walkkk back to the hotel.

But you know, doing something out of the ordinary is always f-u-n.

NEXT MORNING, WATER WAS AVAILABLE BUT WE DID NOT SHOWER BECAUSE WE DID NOT FACTOR TIME FOR IT. JUST BRUSHED TEETH, CLEANSE OUR FACES AND STRAIGHT TO MEETING POINT FOR OUR SLEEPER BUS. YES, IN OUR PJS. HEHEEHEHE SO NICEEE. #dontbejudgemental

Maybe I'm just extra sensitive.

Recently, I've kinda made a mental decision to simply slowly, avoid things or people that no longer serves a purpose in my life. It may sound a little harsh but it's just that I feel some efforts are not worth putting into when they don't reciprocate. For example, when the person comes to you when they are bored and have nobody to texts or when the person comes to you when they need something. But aside from that, they don't bother texting whatsoever. They talk about themselves and only themselves. They don't bother asking how you've been and etc. I do know that from the bottom of my heart that I'll do a rain check every now and then. But of course, everything will have to work both way but when it doesn't', that's when you know that you have to take a step back.

I have to admit though that I've haven't been very specific in my prayers and I shall do so when I'm done with this month's torturous week aka menses cramps. On top of that, besides being a self-proclaimed goal digger/high achiever.. I need to put in more effort in everything single thing that I do. First and foremost, it shall begin with doing my daily reading because I'm starting to get a lil nervous on handling two modules this trimester and there's no way I can afford to repeat module. Secondly, I will and must do 30 squats + 30 leg raise every other day. Squats in the shower and leg raise before bedtime. Let's see if I can stick to this for a month. Will update you loves!

Third trimester of 2016 (nope, not pregnant.. yet)

Oh yes, here I am, back to business, blogging business. HAHA. Anywayyyy I'm doing a module called Chinese Business this semester and omgggg as much as it was interesting, I almost died in the class because it was dry?

I don't know how to explain it but there was just so many things to learn and to read up on. Please note that I had zero knowledge about Chinese culture and history. The only thing I probably know is that they get red packets with losta 000s at the end of CNY, the PRCs speaks like as if they are shouting and some do not shower in the morning. Pffttt if you take the public transport like me, you'll totally understand. *fist bump*

The point is... I NEED TO START READING ON MARXISM, MAOISM AND omg another one I forgot what. Didn't write it down because I didn't bring a pen on my first class of the semester. Yeah, way to go Shiqin! That being said, I made use of technology. I simply type down whatever I thought was important. Like, to have Mutton Soup at Adam's Road, or settle for Beef Bak Ku Teh at Gombak because it's just a stone away from home. Of course, the latter wins. It was past 11pm mind you. Me no energy.

Update: OKAY, I REMEMBERED THE THIRD POINT. IT'S CALLED GUANXI.